Dear gammy J

*NEW* I have two boys in their late teens. The youngest is showing tendencies that he is struggling with his true sexual identity. I’m worried that he may have a troubled life ahead being gay. How can I help him? Signed anonymous mom

Dear anonymous mom: My dear, your youngest son isn’t struggling with his ‘true sexual identity’, you are. He knows who he is. He’s perhaps struggling with you and what he sees in your anxieties and fears. Your worries are of natural motherly concerns. Perhaps your son is figuring out how best and when to tell you about himself and is worried of the possibility you may reject him.

You have two sons that you have birthed and given life. Embrace both your creations in the same loving arms. And when your son is ready, he will decide when it’s right to share with you, if ever, his sexuality. His sexuality is not his identity. His preferences in people to have relationships with do not define him, they are a facet about him. Who he desires and wants to be intimate with in a relationship is his decision, just as it is with your eldest son.

Now, dear, I highly recommend you do a kindness for yourself to ease your emotional struggle you have taken on regarding both of your sons.

Watch uninterrupted and all in one sitting the movie, “Love, Simon”. The film stars Nick Robinson, Josh Duhamel, and Jennifer Garner. It is a brilliant ode of humanity for us all and is a must watch. It will give you the insight you need to see.

Your sons were born as themselves. You are blessed with whom you have birthed and raised. Look forward to futures that both will thrive in, love in, and be themselves in and contribute magnificently to their communities and families.